Miasma in Paradise

Weekend Guitar Warrior

2007-02-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

Things have been peaking at work, so my busyness is inversely proportionate to my blogging, unlike some daily bloggers I know (you lot need more work to do! LOL!) So I've resorted to having to blog on weekends only. Weekends doesn't mean you'll see a new post every weekend, but at least this is a start.

I'm frankly starting to get a little fed up at work, we're understaffed, underpaid (well, I believe so! :D damn IM payroll) and I have about 17 days of leave that I carried over from last year. out of 21 days, 17 seems to be quite a chunk from it. God knows when I'll be able to take leave. I should be able to squeeze out a whole month of non-work depending on how many public holidays there are that month.

I'm working at the towers every afternoon on a project, dull work but it pays the rent. So its supporting other clients in the morning, and project work in the afternoon, hence you don't get to see me online very often. Thats just how it is right now. My recreational surfing in the office has been cut down badly as well, so I have no idea where all the blogs are going. Although, I'm getting turned off at reading some ppl's blogs. Somewhat one-dimensional.

Oops, better not write something about the M'sian Gvmnt, they might sue me! So stay tight, I can't think of what I did during the hiatus that I had, although tonight there is a company dinner. Yours truly got hoodwinked into performing 3 songs on stage, accompanied with my trusty guitar. Hell, 2 years is a long time to try and get back to what I was before. As it is, screw it, I'll wing it.

XOXOXOXOOX

Happy New Year

2007-01-03T10:21:00.000+08:00

Hello peeps, my blog is looking more and more anemic. Looks like I'm not getting enough posts in to satisfy some of you. As if you actually read through everything I write anyway kan? ;)

I've started to concentrate more on golf for 2007. I will play twice a month, once in the company ladder, and once more at my club (have to justify the fees that are paid monthly) with another member that I know. Played last Friday night with him, managed to play 9 holes coz we started late and I had a 53. Damn balls don't want to be found at night! Someone should invent glow in the dark golf balls or golf balls with GPS tracking devices in them.

Other resolutions? Get my promotion to the next grade! Need the money / bragging rights. I'm slightly overloaded at work, waiting for reinforcements which have yet to come. Sigh. It isn't much fun telling clients that I can only try and fix their issues next week or the week after, especially when it's urgent. It doesn't reflect badly on my boss, but on me.

2006 was full of things that happened, and somehow with a child time passes very quickly. I remember as a kid a whole day was endless and a week was forever. Now, a month passes in a flash (unless you're totally broke that is) and you wonder where the time went. Next thing you know, I'll be 40 with 3 kids... ahhh but then I'll be riding that superbike I've always wanted! Hahahhahahah!

Talking about age, its the big 30 for me this year. A change in the preceding number is always a momentous occasion, but unlike some people I know, hitting a certain age doesn't do anything to me. In fact, I hardly ever celebrate my birthday and I don't really need to. It's just a day where I get to add 1 to my age. Big deal. A lot more important things to do out there.

Anyways, I never keep track of resolutions, so most of them go down the drain. Pbbbtthhh!

Ciao tutti!

Golf bug

2006-12-14T10:45:00.000+08:00

Heya. Yesterday played in a golf tournament with one of our clients, a good excuse as any to skive off work eh? ;) It was fun, until we got rained out. managed to finish 14 holes only, and on the last par 5 we didn't manage to finish I was next to the green in 3! There goes a par try down the drain.

Played a lot of bogeys, double bogeys managed a single par only on a par 3. Doesn't sound like much of an achievement, but if you consider normal par 3s are 140-150 yards long, and the ones yesterday were 170-196 yards, then its much more significant.

Anyway, SLB ended up losing to Murphy Oil in the annual playoffs, so we will need to bring the trophy back next year. At least it gives me more time to brush up on my game before I compete again!

Thats all folks!

Still Coughing....

2006-12-04T15:42:00.000+08:00

... but I've only just started to get better. Good thing I changed doctors again to the same one that cured my son in 3 days. My son has always had the sniffles, so we kept on going to the same doctor who kept on giving varying amounts of different medicine. The thing is my son never got really well. We finally decided we had had enough and changed doctors. Best thing I ever did for my son. She gave us a 3 day antibiotics course, some other medicine and he was cured in 3 days! Sumpah tak pergi dah doktor yang pertama tu. Seems that we're the ones paying for his Mercedes E270. At least the new doctor we're frequenting only drives a Toyota Vios! :D

So anyway, after suffering from coughing my lungs out, going to a "Specialist" at Pantai, going to Putrajaya's Emergency Unit on a Sunday evening and having this moron of a male nurse stick the needle in, and then only looking for the freaking vein to take blood from (where do they find idiots like that?) I decided to either go to another specialist hospital and make them admit me or to take my own life. I'm sure you guessed what I decided to do!

Anyway, most hospitals prefer referral letters, and I prefer them as well since then I don't have to call the insurance company, I went to the Doctor that my son goes to now. She actually looked concerned when she looked at me (good sign eh?) and had a really close look at the red spots on my skin. She came to the conclusion that the spots were due to the viral infection in my breathing passage (the cause of my bronchitis which no one had even told me about) and gave me more medicine to swallow. I almost told her then and there to prepare the letter, but she said to give it until Monday. It is Monday now, and I'm barely coughing, my skin's spots are actually clearing up and I haven't had a fever since I went to her clinic!

So what this post actually is a warning that fancy names (Tan Sri Datuk Dr. ********* at Pantai) and cars don't mean shit. What you need is just to find someone who truly cares, and I'm glad I found that in my GP. Oh, btw, she's a family friend to my wife so maybe that helps as well? LOL!

Signing off.

Insane in the Bronchitis

2006-11-22T10:22:00.000+08:00

Bronchitis. Sounds harsh eh? Seems that that was what I was afflicted with the whole of last week. Ended up being referred to a specialist from my local GP (note to self, change doctor!) so went to see Tan Sri Datuk Dr Ampi (Short name, long title) at Pantai Medical Center. Not a bad guy, and the treatment was pretty good. The reason why I even went to the doctor (even though I don't usually go to them until I feel really bad) was because I was a zombie on Friday. During a meeting with the client I was coughing non-stop, the lunch at Mdm Kwan's didn't taste so good and the fixing of a client's workflow process went so slowly I wanted to scream! Now I'm feeling slightly better, less congested. 3 types of inhalers will probably do that to you.

Isn't anyone allowed to speak their minds anymore in Malaysia? Nowadays you can't say anything you believe is the truth lest you hurt someone else's feelings, attack their religion / race / sexual preference. Or even write about sex without your publication being blacklisted. In fact, one of the reasons why I believe the Gomen asked us to register our prepaid numbers is so that we can be traced as the ones who send out malicious smses. Have you registered yet?

Tada!

Mid month broke!

2006-11-14T10:05:00.000+08:00

I'm broke already... :( not much fun eh? Just for kicks, check out The Global Rich List! I'm in the Top 11% of the world! LOL! How come it doesn't feel that way?

Sigh!

Safe driving!

2006-11-13T09:31:00.000+08:00

Whats all this about road accidents and what not during the festive season! The Danish have come up with an innovative way of making sure people are aware of the current speed limit for a stretch of road. However, I'm not really sure whether it would reduce accidents, or actually increase the probability of them happening. Somehow I don't think the Malaysian government would do anything like this!

Check it out and holler! ;)

Self Gratification

2006-11-06T16:08:00.000+08:00

Wow, I saw the Malay Mail this morning while taking a tea break and there was a big black page with an apology over it. Was wondering what sort of political message it was apologising for, but there was no mention on it. The grouch then sent me the excerpt this afternoon which I'll post here for everyone to read.

ONE 22-year-old who claimed to be a virgin, even admitted that she thinks of sex 99 per cent of the time
although she insisted she would rather wait for her wedding night to get her cherry popped.

Our findings showed that Malaysians know their 'stuff' pretty well.

Most Malaysians admit they like it from behind, or 'doggie style'. It was the top choice in terms of 'positions'
among KL folk.

Thirty-eight per cent of the guys prefer this position.

The missionary is a close second (21 per cent), followed by bareback, futon, galloping, spooning and tea bag
positions.

Women are not particularly crazy about being on top or getting hit from the back as 32 per cent of them actually
prefer the missionary position.

The study showed that respondents consider sexual activity to be stimulating for the mind and body.

Eighty-four per cent of the respondents said sex is a stimulating and relaxing activity that benefits one's
health.

An average of 72 per cent respondents are also sexually active with between four and six sessions in the last
one month.

From the survey, we also found that those between 18 and 28 indulge in sexual intercourse more often than those
in a higher age bracket.

With the majority of people working 'normal' office hours, it may explain why 83 per cent of male and 62 per
cent of female respondents are sexually active at night, with 58 per cent of respondents saying that they prefer
the action to start while they were sleeping (the kind where you get woken up by good sexual stimulation).

However, if you are into morning bedroom activities, you are not alone. Many people like to start the day with a
good romp in bed.

However, Malaysians are less adventurous when it comes to choosing the spot, with 50 per cent of respondents
opting for the bedroom.

A big portion of those interviewed do not quite care where they do it ? 12 per cent of respondents said they do
it in the car often.

A majority of the respondents also seemed to be contented with their sex life as 88 per cent of them claimed to
experience orgasm at every session.

Maybe it is because respondents felt that sex presents an emotional connection rather than a mindless,
animalistic romp in the hay.

Contraceptive reigns among the top in sexual priority.

Ninety people claimed they would insist on precaution.

And what about autoeroticism (a bit of DIY love)? Eighty six per cent of men admitted to constantly 'taking
matters into their hands' while only 60 per cent of women indulge in such activities.

Most of the women we met also felt that it is all right to do so.

One point everyone agreed on was that sex and sex-related issues should be discussed openly to avoid any
negative perceptions.

Weird huh? I thought it was going to be an article lambasting Mahathir or Abdullah or someone of high rank, instead its an article on sex! What the eff is going on in our country when we can't talk about things like this? This is one of the reasons why our youth learn about sex from the wrong places and not from parents or teachers who would be able to guide them (and by guiding them, it doesn't mean parents or teachers are allowed a practical approach k?).

If the front page thing wasn't funny enough, the reply by some people was even more hilarious. You can find it here. Why is it that everytime we try and be open about issues that affect us and our children in particular, everyone gets their panties in a twist? Think of the brightside, at least those responding to the survey had contraception high in their priorities. Bengap betullah.

***

Sunday, I bought the New Straits Times (Should have bought the Malay Mail instead due to the above issue, but I don't usually read *fluff* newspapers) to get the Cars, Bikes and Trucks pullout. After reading the CBT, I ended flipping through the rest of the newspapers, looking for something interesting to read and I came upon this piece written by Gavin Yap. He has a very bloggish style of writing, which can be appealing at times although he somewhat rubs me the wrong way. Maybe because he tries to write about the typical Malaysian youth, whereas he remains atypical himself. C'mon, having an artist / actor / playwright do a column sounds good from an editorial point of view, but having him write contemporary pieces isn't pleasant. I have an issue with his article which I'll quote ad verbatim.

What's the Point? Put some grip in that handshake
05 Nov 2006
Gavin Yap

THIS is something I just have to gripe about for a little bit. The other night, I was introduced to this woman. I offered my hand, she took it and gave, quite possibly, the weakest handshake anyone’s ever given me in my entire life.

Okay... what is the deal with all these lame, moronic weak handshakes? Don’t these people realise that a strong handshake is the foundation to a healthy first meeting?

Seriously, I really wanna know. Where do these weak hand-shakers come from? Are they raised in some weird colony where no one is allowed to do any work or lift anything heavy, therefore they simply lack the physical strength to give a good hearty handshake?

Are they spawned from some bizarre civilisation where a handshake is the equivalent of giving someone "the finger"? The way some of these people shake hands for the first time, I think you’d be forgiven for thinking that.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not an attack on just one person. I’m sure this woman has nothing personal against me (or maybe she does — maybe I dated her sister or something) and I have nothing personal against her. She just happened to push me over the edge regarding an insufferable habit that I can’t help but notice a lot of people seem to have.

And what’s even more scary is that most people who tend to behave like this come from privileged families. I mean, you would imagine that these people would have been taught some manners while they were being schooled at whatever overseas boarding school their parents shipped them off to.

Could it be that while enjoying life abroad, they’re taught that the Third World country they come from is a disease-infested cesspool and they should be careful of what they touch once they return?

I mean, you know what I’m talking about, right? You’ve seen the way they shake hands. They barely touch you, and then they pull their hand away so fast, you’d think there was something wrong with you, like they’re scared they’re gonna catch something from you!

Or maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Maybe it’s meant to be the sign of a lady or something and I’m just too much of a caveman to notice.

If that’s the case, I apologise and as soon as I finish writing this, I’m going straight home to watch Remains Of The Day over and over again until I learn what it means to be a good servant, sorry... I mean, person.

If its supposed to represent femininity or something, then fine. But if that’s what it means, then I’ve got a bone to pick with everyone else for not telling me. I’ve been moaning about this to friends for years and nobody’s ever corrected me.

Oh, there’s going to be hell to pay — me and the boys are gonna have words... hey... hey, wait a minute. If that’s the case, I can forgive the women. Then why, pray tell, have men started picking up the habit?

Limp wrists? Weak forearms? Come on, when was the last time you met a guy with weak forearms? Huh? When? That’s about the only part of his body that gets a regular work-out, so sorry dudes that excuse ain’t gonna fly!

And please, don’t even try to use sexual orientation as an excuse. I know plenty of guys who play for the other team and all of them could beat me up in a New York minute. I’m a pretty small guy, you see.

So why do they do it? Okay, we’ve discovered that some women probably do it to appear more lady-like. Alright, noted. So why men?

At first I thought it might have something to do with wanting to appear artistic. I mean, that kind of makes sense. But I’ve met plenty of guys outside the arts circle who have fallen prey to it, so why?

Maybe its part and parcel of this new "metrosexual" age we live in. Metrosexual — that term has always cracked me up, mainly because I have no idea what it means. Then again, I’ve never been known for my raging intellect.

First, I thought it meant people who can only feel turned on if they spend time in Metrojaya or something. Ah, who knows? It’s a strange, scary world we live in, full of things that shall probably remain unexplained until the day we die.

Now, I’m not saying I’m perfect. Far from it. I mean, most people lose interest in me after conversing with me for less than five minutes. But hey, at least I’ve got the handshake down. So to all you lame hand-shakers, next time someone offers you their hand, grip it tight. They’ll respect you more in the morning.

Even I have the cultural ability to judge whether someone would want a firm handshake or not. It doesn't matter how westernised you are, bontot tetap asian lah bro. Handshakes are a way of asserting yourself, and in business a firm handshake is neccessary in order to convince the other person that you're not an easy target. With clients, I'm firm. With friends and family I'm softer, more as a sign of respect than of being intimidated. Depends on your upbringing I guess, and believe it or not, I find there is nothing wrong with being Asian, in fact I love being one. I love being able to speak 3 languages, having food which doesn't taste bland and I don't need a slang to prove my worth. In fact, I think we speak better English than the English or the Americans, as can be proven in pop-culture.

So before you go lambasting those with Asian handshakes, please take a good look in the mirror, and remind yourself that your surname is Yap and not Smith. Then again, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so here is my limp salam.

Cheerio!

Swallow

2006-11-02T16:13:00.000+08:00

I'm finding it really hard to swallow for the past couple of days, the throat is sore and I have a lot of phlegm. I had a quick look at the back of my throat this morning, and it was all red and swollen. Woke up many times while sleeping with an extra dry throat and unable to swallow. Maybe I don't drink enough water? I've been downing fluids by the 1.5 liter bottles since yesterday, and the only thing that it has been doing to me is making me go to the loo more times a day.

Wife seems to have caught my bug as well, son hasn't though, so must be an adult thing. Or the fact that we like to kiss! LOL! Anyway, I think a trip to the clinic is warranted so I'll be popping over there later. Alif needs his immunisation shots anyway, and they're overdue since he had the sniffles.

Man is this a pain in the neck! It doesn't help that I've got things to do at a client's place and its not totally finished yet. The reason for that being that there was some scope creep, so we'll have to charge extra man days for that one. It sounds good that a client will pay circa USD 1.8k for my services a day, but when you consider how much money I bring back at the end of the month, I want to start my own business! My manager should give me a good grade during my performance appraisal or I'll scream! :P

C ya peeps.

2006-10-31T08:58:00.000+08:00

A belated Selamat Hari Raya greeting from me to all muslim friends out there, and Happy Deepavali to those I haven't wished yet. Eid each year hasn't exactly been something for me to celebrate, maybe due to the way we were brought up. Spending 9 years abroad without any cousins / grandparents does that to you I guess, especially during my younger years. I have always thought of the Eid as the end of the fasting month, and in recent years an excuse to smoke during the day in public that is. Even until now, Eid hasn't exactly been the grand celebration that I want it to be. My mind says celebrate, but my heart isn't jumping around for joy. Jaded? Only old I guess.

My views have gotten me in trouble with the wife before, especially when it comes to celebrations. Those who know me know that if its even remotely possible, I'd rather stay home than go anywhere. I just love lounging at home layan Astro and just slobbing around. I have to make an effort just to go out. I do enough walking at work and all so anything extra is just a chore. The traffic jams in Kuala Lumpur don't really help matters either so I do have a good excuse if I need one!

Anyway, off to do a project for a client. Funny thing is that the project might be called off due to one client's department decision on whether to opt in or not. Whatever, as long as we get paid huh? LOL!

Cheerio!

Home and away...

2006-10-18T16:14:00.000+08:00

Back home, hell of a flight. A screaming baby in the row in front of you and a kid kicking the back of your chair throughout the flight doesn't bode well for a relaxing flight. Oh well, at least the kid stopped kicking the chair after I unbuckled my belt and threatened to whip her. Screw the parents and their dirty looks, if you don't want your kid to be taught a lesson by me, you'd better do the teaching yourself.

Anyway, apart from an appaling flight, everything is great. Seeing Alif for the first time in a month has been great. The best part? He actually remembered me! As soon as he saw me he gave the goofiest semi-filled-by-teeth grin I have ever seen and ran to me! Ran, like seriously that kid can fly now. And hugged me, still smiling that endearing grin of his. When Mazni wanted to carry him since I had to settle my bags and all he still didn't want to release me. It is nice to be missed.

Admit it, foos!

2006-10-10T18:01:00.000+08:00

I am slightly racist. I am, I admit it. Its true. And I challenge whoever to tell me they're not. Its a fact of life that a person would feel superior over others, be it due to language skills, brains or looks.

However, no matter how much of a racist you are, it is in the best interest of a multi-racial society to keep those feelings hidden as deep as possible in order to be politically correct. But damn, sometimes it really does piss you off.

In my line of work, I deal with a lot of other races / nationalities. Call me kampung but I prefer working with Malaysians / Malays. It just makes it easier to convince people that my view is usually right. This doesn't mean that Malays are walkovers, just that they are more open to other people's point of views (or if not open to them, at least they listen patiently).

There are a few people on my course who I wonder how in the hell will survive not only at work, but also in society at large! Overbearing, bossy, smart-alecky, just think of the worst adjectives in the English language and tack them on the list.

We have a pseudo Arabic Canadian wannabe who will agree with anyone with white skin in order to be accepted by "the superior race". And belligerent with others. Thing is the knowledge she has in the company / products doesn't amount to much.

Why am I going on about this? I have to do a final presentation with the aforementioned person and I have a feeling its going to be very tough. Good thing it won't be for so long, but it still is going to be time consuming especially with the dataset we have to load.

Fun eh? Pfftt.

Ears are ringing!

2006-10-09T21:38:00.000+08:00

Last weekend was fun, Saturday was spent in London with Idlan whom I haven't seen for quite some time. Went to Camden, followed by buka puasa at Mawar. Frankly, that was the first time I entered Mawar restaurant my whole life. Funny eh?

Anyway, we had dinner with Alan, Marisa and anak dia yang bertambah comel dan comot as well as an acquaintance of Idlan's called Fikh. Agak kelakar jugak bila tengok Marisa tetiba dingin jer, but it was all in good fun! So now you guys have me to thank for creating a new friendship huh? LOL!

Currently stuck in training for this software package that comes between production software and the data historian / SCADA systems. Its fun, but the only thing is that the instructor comes off a little anal! :D

And boy, can he keep talking non-stop!

Stand up and run away

2006-10-06T23:48:00.000+08:00

Hello. For the past 3 weeks I've had to adapt to a totally different climate, and some of my training mates aren't exactly quite right in the head. We have a hunchbacked dame with delusions of grandeur, a pig of a brute with high opinions of himself and an argumentative little creep. Thing is I've been grouped up with one of them for the final project, so if they don't behave they're in for a little bitch slapping. Especially since some of them are of the I love the sound of my own voice type.

I'm like that as well, but never for the sake of just arguing, thats such an utter waste of time. I hate arguments, I try and go a long way out of my way to evade them. So what I usually do is just let them rant, plaster a smile on my face and let them learn firsthand the follies of not listening to me.

And I'm usually not wrong.

Dinner with old friends

2006-10-05T20:26:00.000+08:00

Hey... Has it really been 8 years since the last time we met? Great meeting up with you guys, especially the *leelwan*. Comel nak mampus! At least I started missing my son less when I was holding her.

I'll be back in about 10 days now, but the last weekend around I'll be spending at their place. They've graciously offered to let me crash, so another dinner will be on me k?

The funny thing about places is that the more time passes by, the less you remember the bad things about it and then you're only left with good memories.

I thought / believed that the UK was fun but my beliefs came crashing all around me on arrival at Heathrow. One and a half hour wait for immigration? One word sums it all up: - "BRITISH"

See ya guys.

Wow, back again after a break

2006-10-05T20:10:00.000+08:00

First things first, I apologise for yanking my blog off the net. I have been guilty of doing this over and over again over time. The reasons stayed the same, but the conviction hasn't wavered yet!

Today is the beginning of a new era in Blogdom coz Groo has for the third time restarted a blog!

Long live the Groo!

p.s. screw updates, I'm not filling in the gaps!